Healing Grief with Spirituality: The Bond Isn’t Gone...It Just Changes

I still can’t believe it’s been thirteen years today, June 23, since my dad passed. Wild. It doesn’t feel real. The truth is, grief doesn’t move in a straight line. It loops, it crashes, and sometimes it sneaks up on you in the quietest moments.

When my dad first got sick in 2011, I was in survival mode. Meditation became my lifeline, a way to slow my breath when everything around me felt like it was falling apart. That was the beginning of my spiritual path. I started seeking answers beyond what doctors and diagnoses could offer. I saw intuitives and psychics, desperate for any glimpse of hope that there was something bigger, that he wouldn’t just disappear.

My dad was the kindest, most grounded soul. I rarely saw him lose his temper. He was brilliant, an engineer who built a beautiful life for our family from the ground up. So many peaceful beautiful memories. On vacations, we’d sneak out early to play basketball while everyone else was still sleeping. I can still hear the basketball bouncing on quiet beach mornings. The people in the other rooms probably didn't love that at 7am. He would say things like "you're like a butterfly". He wanted me to fly, even when I didn’t know where I was going. He reminded me, over and over, that my path would never look like anyone else’s, and that was a good thing.

When he left this Earth there wasn’t time to fall apart. There were forms to fill out, funeral arrangements to make. It was so sterile, so cold. Like that moment in Little Miss Sunshine when the bereavement liaison gives the family all of 30 seconds to grieve and then shoves 20 forms at them. It made me wonder: Where are our rituals? Our time to process? To heal? Our sacred spaces to cry, to scream, to remember?

So I created my own. After he passed, I returned to myself. To movement, meditation, long walks, and breathwork. I dove deep into free writing (thank you Gabby Bernstein) and spiritual teachings (thank you Wayne Dyer). I learned that after someone dies, they go through a life review, a 30-day (in Earth time) period where their soul integrates everything from their time here. I waited, respecting this time, and then I reached out with Free Writing.

Just like my Grandfather (his dad) had visited me in dreams, my dad began showing up too. First gently, then unmistakably. He became and still is one of my guides. Not just for me. He shows up in reiki sessions for my clients offering wisdom and as a liaison for their loved ones. My mom, who passed in 2018, shows up as well... with lightness, love, and feminine ease. They are still connected showing soulmate love on the other side. They both still show up with humor, because spirit is funny, and that’s how I know they’re around. Anytime I channel for someone and spirit comes through, it's often light, playful, and humorous. That’s our natural soul state, and to me, that’s AMAZING.

Because knowing that we are naturally built to be humorous makes life feel a little less serious.

I believe I am able to connect with my parents more easily because of my lighter energetic state that I commit to each day.

While my mom was still alive she used to say she couldn’t feel his energy or connect with him after he passed. I understand that now. Spirit exists on such a high frequency. If we’re stuck in grief, anger, or pain, it’s harder for them to reach us. But they’ll absolutely connect if we are in despair and rock bottom to help us out. Earth is already a dense frequency, and if you add pain and anger, we’re even lower... for consistent communication or to tap in with your deceased loved ones, being in higher energy is the easiest way.

Souls evolve through lifetimes. Each time we choose love over fear, each time we learn our lessons, heal our wounds, and step into purpose...we grow. When we avoid those lessons, when we let the ego steer and miss the deeper invitations, we return again and again to try and learn them. My dad lived in a way that reflected a soul who had already been through many of those lessons. Someone who accepted challenges, solved problems, showed up with grace, and made room for rest. That, to me, is the true path of an evolved soul: courage, healing, rest, and knowing when to surrender, and now, from the other side, he still lives that wisdom and passes it on.

This isn’t just a story of loss. It’s a story of continuing, integrating, and living fully.

How I Healed (and Continue to Heal) My Grief Through Spiritual Practice

These are the practices that carried me through the storm. I hope they help you, too.

Grounding Practices

• Gentle movement (yoga, Pilates, walking) with breath connection.

• Daily meditation (especially morning and night).

• No phone, email, news, etc. first thing in the morning or right before bed.

• Breathwork to calm my nervous system.

  
  

Let Yourself Feel It All

• Don’t avoid the pain. Let it rise. Cry. Shake. Scream.

• Journal through it. Ask, "What is this grief trying to teach me?"

• Make time for your waves. Create space to grieve, it doesn't have a schedule, allow the feelings to flow as they show up.

Connect With Their Spirit

• Free-write messages to and from them.

• Choose a sign (a feather, number, animal) and ask them to show it to you. My parents show me our address number, and other meaningful signs, including songs they loved.

• Watch for dreams and subtle visitations in moments of calm. Dreams are where the veil is lifted and they can visit us more easily. I often travel on vacations in my dreams with my mom, dad, and with my brother. It's beautiful because we used to take family vacations, we still do now, just differently.

• Be open to tech. They use music, flickering lights, and electronics to connect. Spirit loves the use of tech to easily connect with us now. If you hear a song that reminds you of someone, know it's not a coincidence.

Spiritual Tools

• Place rose quartz on your heart and say:“Thank you, rose quartz, for holding my grief and reminding me of love.” Or just keep rose quartz nearby to help heal your heart. Ladies, keeping a small rose quartz in your bra keeps it close to you and absorbs any heartache.

• Tuning Forks or Sound Bowls (Heart & Crown Chakra). Use sound to move stuck energy, especially around the heart

• Prayer Beads or Mala. Choose a mantra like “I am surrounded by love” or “They are with me”. Repeat 108 times to calm the nervous system and open spiritual channels

• Grief Altar or Memory Space. Take a cue from the movie Coco. Create a space honoring your loved ones. This creates the open connection with them, and grounds you in your home.

• Reiki healing. A grounding way to balance your energy and receive clarity.

Understand Their Journey

• After death, they go through a life review. Give them 30 days to integrate.

• Then begin the dialogue. They hear you.

• They are still learning and growing as a soul on the other side, and part of that is guiding you.

Raise Your Frequency

• The lighter your energy, the easier it is to feel them.

• Laugh. Play. Dance. Feel joy without guilt. That’s how they reach you.

If You’re Grieving, Please Know This.

Sometimes the smallest things still undo me. A stranger casually saying they’re going to dinner with their parents, and suddenly I’m crying in line at the store. That’s how grief works. It doesn’t warn you, and that is beautiful. Because the same thing happens with happiness and smiles...remembering beautiful moments or having my parents send me a hilarious sign.

The waves of emotions are beautiful. Because it means they are with me, and they did not disappear. Their legacy lives on.

So if you’re grieving, here’s what I want you to remember:

• You are not alone.

• Your grief is sacred.

• Your loved one is still with you.

Let yourself feel. Have a spiritual practice. Prioritize your healing.

You’re not broken, you’re integrating and becoming the most powerful version of you.

✨ Because down the road, you will be spiritually supporting someone from the other side as well, and the more you heal, the more you can guide someone else. ✨ How magical is that?

With so much love,

Nikki